I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
