I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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