She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
