i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
