party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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