If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
