i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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