State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
