Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
