Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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