He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
