before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Two words: nipple clamps
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