There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
