The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
