you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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