Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
