This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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