Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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