belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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