I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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