I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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