You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
