Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
