once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Drake has all the answers
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
