Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
