this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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