I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
