uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
