there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
