Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
