I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
