My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
