You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just had sex on a roof
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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