i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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