so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
