the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
