I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
