Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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