As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
