I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
