You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
