i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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