If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
