where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
