Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
