come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
