i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
