people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
