i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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