Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
